Halloween

So yesterday despite my frustrating day (working with photoshop, sewing [which I ended up avoided by using a stapler to fix our costumes...yes I'm that bad], and then having an important client LOATHE the pictures I did of them) Joel and I had a great evening. We had a party at our church's young adults group.


Joel and I dressed up as Juno and Bleaker from the movie, Juno. Our costumes weren't as polished as we would have liked, but we were on a budget! So this was what we came up with. It was fun to do.


We also carved pumpkins. I learned something new about Joel last night - he is an excellent pumpkin carver. When I carve pumkins, they take me forever, and the cut marks are always jagged. His were nice and smooth. Here is the pumkin that Joel and I carved. Joel is immitating the face that we carved into our pumkin. And he is holding his chin into a "butt chin" (as he likes to call it) just like our pumkin has.


And finally here are our master pieces. A three year old carved the pumkin on the bottom row, second from the right. Isn't it cute?

This was a good end to a not-so-happy day for me.

Failure.

Earlier this week I took pictures for the the district officials and the office staff (from our denomination) for Christmas. This picture goes in the Christmas cards that they send out to all the ministers in our district. After I had taken the pictures and viewed them at home, I was very concerned. (the dreadful picture is below) I didn't like the pictures at all. I should have rearranged who stood where, one person had glare in her glasses (I put her face in the correct position to avoid glare originally, but somehow that didn't translate to the pictures), I should have raised the camera to a higher level when I shot the photos, and on top of all of those conflicts, the lighting was horrible. Originally I thought the lighting would be fine, but what I failed to realize was that the wall of glass windows behind me provided too much light and washed everyone out, plus two additional people could not wear their glasses because of the glare provided by all the windows. So I was pretty nervous about these pictures and I spent three days editing the photos. But despite all my efforts to salvage the pictures, when I showed them to the office, they hated them. Hated them. I don't blame them, I really understand. I do. But I'm disappointed to have done such a bad job on such important people that I know, especially since my husband and I are on staff at on of the churches within the district (they are our leaders over us), and I hold my minister credentials too. It would have been so much better if I had messed up the photos of a client that I did not have a personal relationship with. It really sucks to fail so severely in front of the people you know...and want to impress. I was really hoping to get a good reference out of the deal. I was hoping that it would help me to get my name out as a photographer and get more clients within the churches around the district, especially weddings. But I'm pretty sure that is not going to happen at this point. I'm disappointed. This isn't the first time I've failed to please a client. That would happen from time to time when I worked at the studio. It just happens. I can handle it. I've had to before. I just hate the fact that I messed up so badly on this particular sitting. Boo. But I know that I'm still a good photographer. I know I have a good eye. I know I can do a good job, and a large majority of the people that I've photographed are incredibly pleased with my work. So I'm not giving up. And I've definitely learned a lot from this particular failure. Somehow sharing my dreadful experience makes me feel better. I'm not sure why....

I do not swear. I do not cuss. But there are two things in life that frustrate me so much that bring me close to doing so - working with Photoshop and sewing. Today I have to do both. I think I'm going to kill myself or maybe just chuck both the computer and the sewing machine out the window.

Pregnacy thoughts and other stuff

I've mentioned before that I've been having headaches - low blood sugar headaches. When I catch them in time, I eat something that will prevent the headaches, but most of the time, they sneak up on me and I don't realize when they start. By that time, it's too late. There's nothing that I can do to eliminate the headache, except go to bed at night - and sometimes I still have the headache in the morning. I've tried EVERYTHING possible to counteract the headaches, but nothing seems to work. I've increased my protein - drink milk, eat eggs, eat peanut butter; I've tried to raise my sugar level by drinking juice, eating a piece of fruit (like an apple) and then eating nuts, almonds, etc. I've tried candy. I've increased my fat intake - changing from 1% milk to whole milk, eating avocados (high in fat). Nothing works. Nothing. I'm pretty sure tried it all at this point. It's so frustrating. By the end of every day I have a headache. Maybe about once I week I can avoid getting a headache, but I know that I cannot make it 5 more months with headaches everyday. I just can't. I've been working with my OB to figure out the cause of these headaches. Please pray for me, because I'm reaching the end of my rope of tolerance for these headaches. And pray that we can figure out what is causing them soon!

This weekend, I managed to deflect a woman's hand wandering towards my belly not once, but twice!! The first time I covered my belly with my purse before her hand reached my belly. The second time I took her hand that was aimed for my belly, (she was going to give me hug, and touch my belly at the same time) and put it behind me so she could hug me with two hands instead of just one. She got the point and started laughing. It was amazingly ninja. I was so proud of myself.

I was also told recently that I would miss my pregnant belly after the baby was born. Hmmm....no, I'm pretty sure I won't. I despise being fat. I'm not ok with it at all. I did not get pregnant to have the "pregnancy experience" I got pregnant to bring a child into this world, not to be pregnant. So missing the pregnant belly? Doubtful.

Fun news:
This weekend Joel and I got a new couch! Most of you don't know this, but we've haven't owned any couches since we've gotten married. (well - we were given an old couch that was really cute, but when we moved, we decided to not take it with us because it was falling apart, but this one doesn't count) So we've been borrowing a set of couches from Joel's parents (that I hated because they weren't very comfortable, nor were they "our style"). Last week we came a cross a sectional couch for a good price. (someone was getting rid of it because they were moving) Guess what? We got it! It's a light brown micro-suede sectional couch with two recliners, a corner piece, and a hide-a-bed!! This is seriously exciting news for us to finally have comfortable places to sit!! And this couch is pretty much what I had in mind that I wanted in a couch too, including color! How cool is that?

This weekend was our district's youth convention. Lots of fun. I worked there. But here's the fun thing -
This is my good friend, Patty. We took this last year during Youth Convention in 2007. She was about 6 or 7 months pregnant at the time. (and look how skinny I was! Geez. I really hope to get that thin again)


This year Patty and I had to take the same picture again (during Youth Convention of course), because of course this time I'm pregnant. I think it's funny because this year we have totally switched places.

Pregnancy at 14 weeks

So here's what I look like at 14 weeks. Joel took these pictures of me this afternoon.




I know I really don't look that big. But in my mind, I feel huge!

I had an OB appointment this morning, which went well. Joel got to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time. It was exciting. Little by little the excitement grows. I've been more able to come to terms with being pregnant, (even though the baby was planned) and I'm bothered less by the restrictions that pregnancy brings. I've been having headaches as a result of low blood sugar. (they go away when I eat, but return after my food has been digested) The doctor said that I should increase the fats in my diet to keep my blood sugar up higher! Ha ha! I never expected to hear that one.

One more thing to add to my list of Things to Refrain from saying to a Pregnant Woman :

* "You're so big!" - Thanks for the observation. As if I don't feel large enough already. This is probably one that I won't be able to avoid hearing. But I did tell the woman who said that to me this weekend, "Thanks" in a light-hearted, but sarcastic tone of voice that wasn't too offensive, but totally got my point across. She quickly corrected herself. Ha!

The Reunion.

Well I have to say that I had such a great time at my 10-year high school reunion this weekend. It wasn't as bad as I expected either. And everyone was just as nervous as I was about the reunion - which made things easier for me. I was definitely nervous, but over the last several years, I've learned to fake the confidence that I felt I was lacking. And you know what? No one even knew!

Things are different now. Everyone was still the same in a lot of ways, but most of them had matured beyond the high school labels. (Pretty much everyone) The guy who was most known for horsing around in high school got the award at the reunion for "Alumni who has changed the least" So true. He's just as retarded as he was in high school. BUT despite those minor things, the reunion was fun. And it really didn't matter who you were in high school, because everyone just wanted to talk to everyone else and see what they were doing these days. And that made it so much fun. I even managed to find an Alumni and her husband who live in our area, and plan on getting together sometime! It was cool because nobody treated you like a loser because you weren't in their old high school clique. It really didn't matter any more. Everyone had gotten past that. When our nerdy (but amazingly smart) Valedictorian stood in the back of the room (he was never that social) during the socializing, people would go back and talk to him. Some of the girls even managed to get him on the dance floor for a while. It was fun. The guy (who I couldn't remember for the life of me) in a floral shirt was dancing with one of the cheerleaders on the dance floor. I was also amazed to notice that she didn't spill her cocktail she was holding while she was dancing. ha ha. But overall, I had a great time, and I'm so glad I went.

I wasn't originally planning on going to this reunion. I've moved past that time in my life, and do not feel the need to go back. However, when Rebecca, my close friend from high school convinced me to go, I temporarily became occupied with the reunion. It's almost like I had something to prove to them, but not quite. I had something to prove to myself by going to this reunion. I spent my high school years living with feelings of insecurity and inferiority. I always felt like everyone was better than me. (silly) Internally, it made things miserable for me at times. I spent way too much time worrying about what everyone else would think of me. (even more silly) Eventually I got over that. But with the reunion coming, I suddenly realized that I wanted everyone to see me for me - and that I now realized that I liked myself, and was happy with who I turned out to be. But after the reunion, I realized that the thought of what people actually thought of me now, was not even a concern. It never even crossed my mind during the weekend. So it's not that I wanted to prove something to them, perhaps as I thought originally. Instead, by spending time with those who I had originally felt inferior around, I wanted to show myself that I was not the same person I was in high school. I was no longer the person who felt inferior around those same people. I'm different now. And I didn't feel inferior when I was with them. It was almost like a way to measure my personal growth. I feel good. I'm proud of myself. I feel like I've come a long way from the person I was in high school. Perhaps I'm still the same in a lot of ways, personality, mannerisms, etc, but I've matured. And it feels so good, and I had such a good time seeing old classmates, friends, and aquantances. And if I were to give advice to those who are still in high school, it would be this - Don't worry about who you are in high school, how you fit in with everyone else, and what type of label you have. Because after high school, the real world doesn't really give a flip about it. And at the reunion, people may recall who you were in high school, but only to remember you, it doesn't mean they haven't realized that you are more than the label you had back then. (And if they do still think that, they have serious problems.)

At this point, I look back at high school with more fondness than I did before. It was fun. I made tons of mistakes, but ultimately I became a better person. But I would never go back to relive that time of my life! But there is one thing that I would have changed - the fact that I was afraid to do my best. I was afraid to try my hardest, because I was afraid of failing. I've realized since then that I am capable of so much more, when I put forth my best effort. (Just a thought)

I had such a fun time at my reunion. I think that everyone should go to theirs. You'd probably be surprised to see how much people have grown up (most of them, anyways) since then.

Slightly Obsessed...

My 10 year high school reunion is tomorrow and Saturday. I think I've become slightly obsessed with the details of this reunion. It seems as though suddenly I must make sure that I have the most perfect outfits to wear for both nights (something that will reveal that I am obviously pregnant, not just fat, but still must look cute), that my eyebrows are plucked (because I really do like them looking neat and groomed, I've just been too lazy to keep them up lately - probably due to pregnancy), and that this pregnancy-induced acne looks somewhat under control (I've been wearing my hair up all day, all the time to keep it off my face, washing my face consistently [but not too often], and using a face scrub every couple of days [stupid acne!]). I also planned on wearing my high school letter jacket to the football game tomorrow, but it probably won't be cold enough (Texas weather). I went online to our reunion website, found all the names of the alumni that have RSVPed to the event and looked them up in my year book. There's about 75 alumni coming, and it turns out that it's a pretty mixed crowd - not all from a certain click, various people from various crowds. That eases my nervousness about this event. I want to present myself as a person who is happy, and pleased with her life thus far. I also want to present myself as a person who loves God and follows God without shame. I want to make my a good impression on my former classmates. I feel like I've become so much of a better person since high school in so many ways (especially emotionally and spiritutally), and I want them to see the change in me. And yes, I think I sound a little obsessed - but I think I am ready.

And a couple of side notes here -

My friend Patty lent me her maternity clothes, which is very cool because now I don't have to wear t-shirts all the time (because that was all that fit).

And today I am 14 weeks pregnant! yay. It makes me very happy to be moving away from the first horrid trimester.

Things to refrain from saying to a pregnant woman...

*"You're only upset because you're pregnant." - so basically what you're saying is that I have no reason to be upset. So if even if I really have no reason to be upset because I'm pregnant, telling me that "I'm only upset because I'm pregnant" is only going to aggravate me even more, because obviously the situation is important to me, and you are telling me that my feelings aren't valid. And that is definitely not going to calm me down. Grrrr!!!

*In reference to a comment I make pertaining to pregnancy like, "It's getting difficult to bend down. (because this belly is getting in the way)" and a woman replies "Just wait..." implying that this experience will only get worse. Yeah, thanks for being so encouraging. I know that things will probably continue to become more difficult, but do you really have to remind me?? It's not like I didn't have that figured out by now, but thanks for the reminder. I've heard this comment from various women OVER and OVER and OVER. And let me tell you, I'm SO OVER it! I've heard enough. Maybe I'll just stop talking about pregnancy to others.

*When a woman feels compelled to share her pregnancy experience and then proceeds to make predictions about how my pregnancy will be as well. I really really really hate it when women do this. It's like because they've been pregnant once or twice they suddenly know ALL there is to know about EVERY SINGLE WOMAN'S PREGNANCY. What makes you think that every body else's pregnancy is going to be exactly yours was? Especially since every woman's body reacts exactly the same as your does. NO. What's worse is when they make negative predictions about your pregnancy based on their own experiences.

You know what? Why is it that so many women who have had babies seem to make it their mission in life to make me feel like a some young, naive rookie at this motherhood/pregnancy thing? Like they feel like they have one up on me. It's like it seems that they feel like they need to educate me about every little thing AND I get these little smirks from them, that seem to say, "You really have no idea what you're getting yourself into." I think that I do. I know that I do. That's why Joel and I have waited so long to have kids. This was a well thought out, planned, decision on our part. Perhaps we don't know EVERY little thing yet, but we are aware, that we don't know. We didn't just step into this next part of our lives without any forethought. I hate being treated like a naive person. I hate it. Why can't people (women) just leave me alone to enjoy my pregnancy? Why do they have to share all their stupid bad experiences with me. What makes them think that I'm as stupid as they are? (Wow, that was mean)

I really want to enjoy this pregnancy. I really do. But it's so hard when you feel like everyone around you is trying to spoil it for you by making you feel like a rookie. I don't have to know everything at once. I plan on informing myself. I like to know what I'm doing. But there are just some things that I would rather not know until I get to that point. (Like postpartum recovery...please DO NOT share...I would rather figure that out when I get there...don't give me more things to stress about) I just want to enjoy my pregnancy. I want to be happy. Don't spoil it for me!

And don't touch my belly either. I might have to kill you. I need a shirt to communicate that. Any suggestions on where I could get a shirt like that? Seriously.

Hot Air Balloon

This morning Joel and I were sitting in the office with the window opened about 6 inches. Then I heard a familiar sound - kind of a roaring sound. I realized what it was immediately, grabbed my camera and ran out the door. There was a hot air balloon directly over our house, about 20 feet above us! How exciting!! The people inside the balloon were talking to us too! The chase team was parked directly across from our house, waiting for the balloon to land in the empty lot across the street. Unfortunately the man driving/steering (whatever you call it) wasn't positioned right, and had to land a little farther down the block. So I walked down the street and was able to catch the balloon right after it landed. People were coming out of their house to watch all the excitement and then team even allowed the kids to come and get their pictures taken from inside the basket! The team came and talked to me while I was taking pictures, and gave me a card with a picture of their balloon, and information about it. (And just in case you are wondering, the balloon is called, "Uccello Nero", which is "Black Bird" in Italian) It was such a fun experience. I stayed around and was able to catch some shots of the team disassembling the balloon. It was really interesting to watch the process.
Here's the balloon right above our house! (I did too much level adjustments on this picture, which is why the sky looks so dark)


Just after they landed, a couple of blocks over.


Starting the process of deflating the balloon. The man is hold a rope that pulls the balloon down to the ground.





This is probably my favorite picture. One of the boys from the chase team is walking alongside the balloon, and moving the air to the end of the balloon, so it can go out.





The team stretching out the balloon to release the air.


The younger boys helping.





This little boy was so funny. He's only about 4 years old, but he told me to take this picture for my dog.

This weekend marks the beginning of the annual Balloon Fiesta, which is one of the most photographed events in the WORLD. We may be going at some point, but we haven't decided yet. I'm really hoping during these next two weeks that we will be able to have a balloon land in the empty lot in front of our house. That would be fun. It may happen, because there are literally hundreds of balloons that lift off every morning for two weeks.