Finding Beauty within the Chaos

You know, it seems that sometimes despite our best efforts, chaos seems to find its way into our lives. This season has been absolute, 100% mad chaos for me. Chaos, chaos, and more chaos. No matter how hard I try, the conflicts always seem to pile up at once. It drives me crazy. I've had countless moments of frustration, but I've also learned a lot through these circumstances - mainly the importance of finding the beautiful moments within the chaotic moments.

broken DSLR camera

Over the past six weeks or so, I've celebrated a handful of family members' birthdays, a school field trip, judged a fine arts festival, sprained my ankle, got a staph infection in my sinuses, had an asthma attack, had a couple of anxiety attacks and lost a lot of sleep, been sick and taken care of sick children multiple times. Multiple times. Mac also managed to break both my iPad and DSLR camera within about 10 days of each other. (Neither was intentional, nor is he allowed to handle those items, but I assure you he has been grounded.) I also signed up to run in a 5k sponsored by an organization that confronts human trafficking. After I signed up for the 5k, I got really sick for a couple of weeks and was unable to run. And then, as soon as I started to feel better, I sprained my ankle! Seriously. I don't know how I manage these things sometimes. My ankle finally healed enough for me to resume running again last weekend. The 5k is this weekend. (Baahhhhh!!) Chaos? Yes. Crazy? Possibly. But the real question is, am I ok? The answer is YES! 

Yes. I am ok. These chaotic six weeks haven't been my favorite, but I'm still ok. Why? Because despite everything, I've realized that there are always good moments, beautiful moments, in the midst of the conflicts. It's not like I'm in love with the continuous chaos that I seem to find myself in again and again, but I'm learning to appreciate the moments that often get overlooked during conflict. 

Geocaching adventures & digging our Jeep out of the sand

Over the weekend, I had a night where I didn't sleep well, due to to medication I had to take. And, due to unrelated circumstances, the boys didn't sleep well either. The next morning didn't go well for us and I was sleep deprived and a little foggy. It was a frustrating. However, Joel and I decided to make the most of the day and took the boys Geocaching (or as we call it, Treasure Hunting). Our adventure started out well and we found our first cache of the day (or treasure). But then we couldn't find the next cache. Mac was so disappointed. So, we chose a different cache - out in the desert near our house. Less than a mile from the next cache (0.3 miles to be exact), our Jeep got stuck in a patch of soft sand (it only has 2 wheel drive). So, Joel, Mac, and I spent the next 30 minutes digging our Jeep out of the ruts. It was a lot of work. And we would get out of one rut, only to get stuck in another one. Each time we would get out of one rut, we would cheer Joel on. It made it fun. Eventually we got out, but by that time the wind had picked up so much that it was difficult to walk against and our Jeep was on the verge of overheating. After all the digging, and the fact that we were so close to the cache, how could we give up? We couldn't! We walked the last 0.3 miles to the cache in the wind while our Jeep cooled off. Guess what? We found the cache, and the boys got a couple of awesome souvenirs. Mac got a paracord bracelet and Cheese got an army man. It was truly a triumphant moment, a beautiful moment, for our family. It was just a silly little family adventure, but in that adventure we were able to show that hard work, perseverance, and a good attitude can reap great rewards. It really did for us that day.

Each day has its own beautiful moments

That day started out rough for all of us, and our Jeep got stuck in the sand during our adventure. Both of those incidents had great potential to spoil our fun. Instead we chose to keep a positive attitude. You know what? I've found that even in the worst days, there's almost always something positive to focus on. I recently had a day where I was so exhausted and overwhelmed, I had to go to the staircase landing, have a quick cry-break, pull myself together, and then go take care of the boys. Even on that very difficult day, I encountered a couple of beautiful moments with my kids. 

Sweet moment in the midst of a chaotic day

Sometimes, it seems that life has handed you one gigantic bowl of lemons. Despite our greatest efforts, we can't always control our circumstances. It just doesn't always work out that way. Beyond frustrating! But despite the conflict and chaos, it's important to look for those beautiful moments. Finding the beautiful moments in the midst of the chaotic moments truly makes life more enjoyable.